Mother's love...

Recently my grandmother spent a few days at the hospital. While her lungs struggled their way back, she worried about the six month old child of the nurse she met an hour ago. She slept only after the nurse assured her that the baby was with the grandparents. Mother's love is divine and perhaps therefore forever.

On Mother’s day, there is a lot of talk about mother’s love and what a child means to a mother.  The child, who made her a mother, transformed her life and made her love unconditionally; the child for whom she endured pain and whose happiness means everything to her.  When I read inspirational stories about single dads, step moms and/or adoptive parents that nurture a child’s future, I am convinced that mother’s love is god’s gift to all; one just has to pour it.

Life has taken me many places and never let me miss out on mother’s love. While my unkempt look and penchant to give back to the community are part of my mother’s legacy, aiming for perfection is my aunt’s legacy to me.  And when I am travelling, I often think of them and miss their immediate presence in my life.  The warmth in their hug, the contagious smile that daunts at every challenge, the joy in stealing/wearing their saris and endless yapping are just few of the things I miss about both my mothers.

I wanted to make this mother’s day special but I was unable to think of a fitting gift, something that could represent the love. I could buy a bouquet of flowers but they will wither with time. Chocolates and candies cannot be sweeter than her love and clothes may not do justice to the beauty of the relationship.  Mother’s love is so unique, pure and precious that I could not think of a wrapped gift to match the bond.

So this time, I decided to do something that would mean a lot to them. My mother in Dallas has been working hard for past few weeks, so I cooked a dish, cleaned the kitchen and gave her a warm tight hug just like she preferred – after shower.  I hope she knows she is loved.  And for my mother in India, I spoke with her as long as her heart desired. And as she wrapped up the call, I knew from her voice, it meant the world to her.  

As I walk..

As I walk..

Morning moments of calmness
Peace, solitude and gratefulness
Past moments seem to edify
Every stance with a radiant light
A sudden sense of appreciation
For everything that life could proffer
Thankful for new beginnings

As I walk...

The trees whisper
And plead with me to sit near
We talk about life and experiences
Our hearts blossom
As we laugh about its nuances
We bond and sing in harmony
Thankful for new friendships

As I walk...

In silence, I tread the path
Determined to make a mark
Heart filled with hope I continue
On a journey, goals retuned
A tear now, a smile later
Life couldn’t get any better
Thankful for new perspectives

As I walk…

--- by Swati

Zentangle

For the past few days, I had this inner voice urging me to sketch.  I enjoy painting more than sketching perhaps because I am not very good at it. Regardless when you have the itch, you got to take care of it.

Zentangle is great for folks who enjoy freehand sketching. Its an abstract sketch that aids meditation. I scorched the internet for some ideas, practiced a few tangles and then got so entangled that it almost left me overwhelmed and confused. An art that is meant to infuse calmness, detangle stress points and restore the positive flow of thoughts was not working on me. A little introspection hinted the possibility of trying to perfectly recreate tangles available on the net was probably the cause. It made me think - about the purpose, the intent and the desire outcome of forming zentangles. I had the idea of what it involved, and so it was time to try on my own.

My first attempt at creating my very own and original sketch - my first Zentangle. The images depict a step by step process. Zentangle approach does not recommend using any tools or aids to sketch but being a rookie, I let myself use a couple; I used lids of vicks vaporub, plastic containers to draw the circles. Instead of the recommended micro tip pen, I used a regular black ball point pen. It helped to start off a new form of art with something familiar and I started filling in the circles with some Mehendi designs and transitioned to other designs that flowed in.

It took me approximately two hours to complete the entire sketch and fifteen minutes to color it. Simple items around the house helped complete this sketch and this will not have an exact match with any tangle on the internet. I loved the black and white look with light color and the overall design, though I feel it could have been a little neat.

There is beauty in imperfection. There is a reason this form of art is called "zen" + "tangle" - you get tangled in the zen and once you have reached that point, there is no looking back.

My Ammama (grandmother)....

It was Ammama's birthday yesterday. We celebrated it with a home-baked chocolate cake and a visit to the temple. She said it was her 86th; many years ago, she'd say she didn't know. And that’s how she likes it – less about her, always about everyone around her. 

When life offered her lemons, she’d make lemonade with some of them, and then a lip smacking spicy pickle with the rest. She would whip up the most delicious amchi dishes and take great pleasure in feeding guests and family. Orphaned at an early age, she was raised by family members and married very young. Marriage was perhaps one of the best things that happened in her life. Indeed! She now has a family to dote on, nurtured with her unconditional love, affection and drool worthy home-made meals..

A pillar of support for every family member, high school was a distant dream for her and yet until she aged, she could do basic math calculations in a matter of seconds. Her style of narrating stories was creative. They were mostly tall-tales with a moral lesson. We enjoyed each one of them wide-eyed, cuddled into her lap, fiddling with her damp sari pallu. In summer, when all the grandkids came visiting, she would bribe us with a delicious meal and one of her stories, and then watch us giggle at our bloated belly from all that eating. 

Scriptures and prayers seem to infuse a lot of inner strength in her because she is always in denial for any pain her own body has to endure. When my grandfather suffered a brain clot, she stayed by his side, through his recovery, rehabilitation and altered lifestyle for years till his last breath. Through it all we got to see her strength and courage. When I suffered my share of health problems, she’d spend the day with me in the cramped hospital room and read her scriptures with a faith that they’d work a miracle for me. Once home, she’d guide my mother to make different concoctions of herbs and spices to build back my body and mind. Together, they put my life back on track. My ammama has always been there for each of her children and grandchildren through their ups and downs. 

Today, my ammama enjoys the company of her children, grandchildren and her tired eyes light up when her now grown up grandkids visit home. She still wears mismatched saris at home, enjoys really spicy food and is disappointed that she cannot eat as much rice now. She refuses to wear dentures but that has made her smile more adorable. A dynamic woman, she can strike a conversation with anyone, speak 'her' English with great confidence and enjoys a great sense of humor – she still laughs at my silly chatter.  She continues to read her scriptures, does not miss a single episode of Sankat Mochan Hanuman and looks forward to my Konkani radio show every Saturday. 

She is one my biggest inspirations in life and as I get older, I see some of her in me - that will probably be her only (best) gift of inheritance to me.  

Gray Horse

Throwback Thursday -

A sketch done on a white tile for a friend who was going abroad. He loved horses so I decided to make a quick painting for him. I did not know then that a glazed tile has no ability to soak in acrylic colors, so the intended painting now looks like a sketch. Nevertheless, I am glad the way it turned out and perhaps it was meant to adorn my own home because we had the flight schedule wrong and my friend had to go without his precious gift.

The image here shows some wear and tear from the years. It has been 15 years now... a memory of the days when I had just learnt to appreciate the colors of life!

Cine bites: Dil Ek Mandir

Dil Ek Mandir – Heart is a temple where love, fear, sadness, faith, our perceptions and interpretations of life events all reside together in its purest form with no malice or lust.  The entire movie is based in 1963 in a hospital owned by Rajendra Kumar (Dr. Dharmesh).  Rajkumar (Ram)  is one of the cancer patient being treated by Rajendra Kumar. Both men love Meena Kumari  (Sita) – one as a husband and other as an ex-flame who cannot seem to get over his love. Sita has moved on and now worships her husband.  During the hospital stay, the two male leads bond as good friends.

The love and friendship is put to test when another cancer patient , a sweet kid dies a few days before Rajkumar’s scheduled surgery.  Meena Kumari and Rajkumar’s mind plays its own game and they believe that their surgery will also result in the latter’s death. Meena Kumari also feels that Rajendra Kumar’s love for her will not permit him to save her husband’s life. When she voices her doubts, Rajendra Kumar gives up sleep, food etc just to find a way to save her husband.

Rajkumar overhears the conversation and comes to know of his wife’s past and ex-love, yet continues his friendship with Rajendra Kumar. He has complete faith in his wife and his new friend – the doctor that is going to give back his life. 

The story ends up on a tragic note, Rajendra Kumar saves her husband but loses his life – out of the stress caused by sleep deprivation.

While the songs are evergreen and outstanding, few things stand out to me:

- Just like the rest of the story and dialogues, the names of the characters are also thought –through as Ram-Sita and Dharmesh (one who follows his dharma as a doctor and saves the patient).
- This is probably one of the few movies where,
 ----------   The patient’s cancer is not evident by excessive coughing. Throughout the movie, Rajkumar and the other cancer patients thankfully cough just once.

-----------  The patient is not moved to an ICU nor kept on oxygen immediately after surgery. Not sure if it was possible then..
-------  There is really no bad guy…just bad thoughts.

-------  Rajkumar’s attitude after the cancer diagnosis is really inspiring. Despite facing death, he stays cheerful.

-------  Songs are as terrific as the story. Lyrics and music go hand in hand and make all the songs best each other.

Cine bites: Movie - Jhanak Jhanak Payal Baje (JJPB)

When I first watched the movie, I was a little kid who was fascinated by Sandhya’s peacock costume and eyebrow gestures in the song “Suno Suno Jee”. When I watched the movie again last weekend, I thoroughly enjoyed the simple yet modern, slow yet flowing performances by Gopi Krishna and Sandhya and appreciated them for their talent.

The story is about the struggles in the love life of Girdhar and his dance partner Neela as they both rehearse to win the coveted title of “Bharat Natraj” through a national dance contest.  Giridhar’s father, Mangal Maharaj is a dance teacher and a previous winner of the Bharat Natraj title.  Mangal Maharaj considers Girdhar’s love for Neela as a distraction and has the support of a local merchant with an evil eye to Neela’s beauty; together they cause grief to the love birds.

The story would have been an ordinary love story but for its music, choreography, the sets and costumes and not to miss out the chemistry between Gopi Krishna and Sandhya which makes it totally unique, not just in 1955 but also in 2014. The movie is a musical feast from the get-go with the songs composed in different classical ragas. The song “Saiyyan Jao” was composed in Raag Des with a flavor of natyasangeet, the sad song “ Mere Ae Dil Bata” was composed in Raag Bhairavi and the song “Nain so Nain” in Raag Malgunji . The song “Ruth Basant Ayi ban upvan” sung in different ragas and the title track sung by Ustad Amir Khan in Raag Adana is still a treat to my ears.  The music also marks its uniqueness by introducing Santoor in Indian cinema and by using some western steps in some smaller sequences in 1955.

The movie begins with its credits splashing over rangoli colors and designs, kathak footwork, and Ustad Amir Khan’s stunning voice! Each song that follows depicts a phase in the love life.  The song “Murali Manohar” adopts a narrative style in between traditional music, successfully depicting the mythological story of Radha-Krishna and the blossoming love between Girdhar- Neela. One of the few movies in technocolor from that era, the blue Girdhar, the man made lake, the entire backdrop in this song gives it a very theatrical look.  My fairy tale song however, is “Nain so nain”, a slow moving evergreen song in the divine voice of Hemant Kumar and Lata ji. And as Girdhar and Neela dance to the roles of Kama and Rati around colorful fountains in the Brindavan, I catch myself walking into a musical fairy tale.  The movie concludes with an energetic “tandav”; one that will always be the best one ever performed in Bollywood.  The movie won a lot of awards that year, including best film award but the music that gave the movie its success never won an award. To me this movie is a terrific tribute to the world of dance and music.

Naushad was the master of classical music in that era. When approached for the opportunity to compose for JJPB, he not only gave up the opportunity but also assured V Shantaram that Vasant Desai could compose classical based music. This support within the music fraternity was perhaps another aspect that was unique only to the golden era.