Me - Time Sundays!

I love me-time Sundays!  The past few hectic weekends had me craving for some “me-time” and finally here it was....and it felt great! I hoped to catch up with my soul buddies but not before I check on my parents. And just then I wondered – Did my parents ever get any individual me-time? They probably enjoyed some when they’d chase us off to our grandparents but there is something therapeutic about individual me-time, something I am certain they never got to experience at least not as much as new parents do these days.

Few years ago, when life was not as busy and when there was no face book, I had a lot of such me-time Sundays. I would sip my piping hot cuppa chai on a squeaky swing chair looking across a creek. I’d hear the birds sing their song or envy the bunnies aimlessly hop around; my cardio class made us hop like bunnies one time and I sprained my ankle after 2 hops! Occasionally two ducks would wade in the creek and cast a glance at me (so I think). In silence, we all chatted – soul to soul. It meant a lot!

After almost 5 years, I am enjoying me-time Sunday again. I walked by the same swing, it looks unused. It greeted me with the familiar ‘squeak’ and I smile. The creek seems to have lost a lot of water, perhaps it cried a wee long time for some attention. When creeks cry, they lose water. The birds were still singing their song...I can’t remember if it’s the same song. I look out for the bunnies; I wanted to tell them I can do 10 hops now (after so many years) but they are perhaps hibernating.  The two ducks are now wading with 3 little ducklings. Sweet life! I missed out on a lot!

Our desire to accomplish and to be successful has overtaken our life so much that we forget to smell the roses, feel the cool breeze and smile for no reason. Not too long ago, the bunnies, the birds, their song, the creek, the ducks and the swing were all part of my me-time. As I pursued different interests, I cut them out of my life. Yet today, despite everything they still gave me their time and let me walk away with the one thing they still had intact – the peace within.  

Overcoming fear

As human beings, we take a lot of things for granted especially life.  Life is unpredictable and you never know when it’s time to cross the finish line. We live as if we were to live forever; we work long hours for a life we never seem to enjoy.  We talk about being blessed yet never bring out the blessed feeling in our daily actions. We dream, make goals but spend time in useless talk and activities.  Two precious souls  lost their battle with Leukemia last month and one of them was just 33.  Their death influenced me in a much bigger way than their life ever did and almost gripped my life with fear. It was the fear of losing life before time, before I could accomplish all my dreams – especially the ones that lacked any effort so far. 

I spent days and nights in fear, I could barely sleep and one fine morning I was so scared that I had to skip work! Living in fear is a curse, the one that comes with stagnation. Fear comes when action stops and so it can easily paralyze someone. One of the key steps in overcoming fear is in recognizing that fear is not an enemy; it’s just an emotion that we need to get over. Understanding the cause of fear, letting go of our inhibitions are integral to overcoming fear.

Few years ago, I wanted to learn how to bike but I was terrified. I could balance a whole lemon on my finger better than I could balance myself on the bike. Embarrassed at my struggle, I wanted to quit but I sucked at that too! After sweating it out a few sunny afternoons, it became clear that I was not really scared of biking; I was scared of falling down and getting hurt. Excess dose of Vitamin -D rocks!So thanks to my friends with kids, I learnt how to bike on a kid bike and then gradually transitioned to an adult road bike. I wore knee and elbow pads (only few days) – the ones soccer players wear so I could minimize any bruises. It was my way of addressing my fear of getting hurt. 

That was seven years ago! Every experience transforms us in some way, so when I am gripped with fear this time, a friend promptly reminds me of the learning to bike experience.  Although my fears this time are beyond anyone’s control, the cause was perhaps a stagnant or monotonous life, one that lacks action/effort.

As Yoda says- Fear is the path to the dark side! I am sure no one wants to be on the dark side - I surely don't !